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15 January 2014 @ 09:45 pm
unheard communication and honesty in BtVS  
So I've been watching S5 of Buffy, possibly this is only the second time I've seen it, which seems odd, but is really neither here nor there.

When Willow is about to get into Buffy head (Buffy being all catatonic), she tells Anya to wish her luck. Anya's "Good luck" is obviously forced and overly cheerful in a comical way. But, as Willow is leaving the room, Anya says a quiet "Good luck" that Willow doesn't seem to hear, much like Angel does with Buffy in Season 1.

From the commentary for "Hush": I had a general notion that what it was about was the idea that when people stop talking they start communicating. That language can interfere with communication, because language limits. As soon as you say something you've eliminated ever other possibility of what you might be talking about. And we also use language to separate ourselves from other people.

I think there's something similar going on in the scenes I referenced earlier as well as in the scene where Buffy's chasing after Riley as he's flying off in the helicopter. In the two previous, the "Good luck"s aren't meant to be heard but are sincere. In the helicopter scene Buffy wants to be heard but isn't, and it's likely the first time she's been honest with Riley possibly during their whole relationship. There seems to be an addendum that communication that isn't heard can also be honest.

Which is about all I had to say and hot chocolate is ready so .... ttfn, ta ta for now.
velvetwhip velvetwhip on January 16th, 2014 04:09 am (UTC)
Very interesting.

Dragon's Phoenix: frida and god dragonyphoenix on January 16th, 2014 04:31 am (UTC)
The first time I watched Buffy was after my Mom had passed away. As you can imagine, I didn't do a lot of thinking. It's been fascinating to watch S5 while knowing what's coming. And, for the first time, I'm appreciating how multi-layered this show is.
red_satin_doll red_satin_doll on January 21st, 2014 12:58 am (UTC)
and it's likely the first time she's been honest with Riley possibly during their whole relationship.

Agree to disagree on that one. She's been honest with him since Doomed, when she laid out her reservations about getting into a relationship with him, and he ran right over that ("You know what? you are stupid!") And she turned out to be right. She was honest when she held him or made love to him first in TIIT, the last time in ITW, she was sincere in OOMM when she begged him to go to a doctor, etc.

The crux of the issue wasn't that she didn't say "I love you" or at least he never verbalizes it as such; he says "I don't feel" [your love] and she correctly points out that's on him, not her. He wants her to behave differently towards him so he can feel stronger and better about himself. If she'd behaved the way he wanted her to, it wouldn't have made any difference because it wouldn't have fixed his issues.

If that's not enough for him, he has a right to leave; but not loving him the way he wanted to be loved does NOT, IMO, mean she didn't love him. If anything I'd argue that he wanted an immature fantasy version of "in love" (he keeps comparing what they have to the destructive, painful relationship of Bangel) and she's looking for something more mature without the high drama.

Edited at 2014-01-21 12:59 am (UTC)